Monopoly On The Outlaw Star
by Julius Night
Summary: The title says it all! The entire crew of the Outlaw Star become engrossed the violent rage-filled game of Monopoly. Humor fic, One shot.


**A/N**: Please note that this is of course Fan Fiction, therefore the events described would be slightly deviated from the orginal telling.

And nope, I in fact do not own Outlaw Star or anything else I write about.

This story takes place about 3/4 of the way through the series.

Monopoly On The Outlaw Star

Gene Starwind woke up dead. Or at least he would have preferred that. His hangover was causing his head to split in two and making it impossiable for him to close his eyes and try to sleep it off any longer. He wrapped a pillow around his head, thinking it could make it hurt slightly less.

Any hope of more sleep was futile as Jim began to pull on his leg.

**Jim: **Wake up already! The game is already set up! We've been waiting for ten minutes! (pulling him nearly out of the bed.)

**Gene:** Ughhh get off you little runt! (shaking his leg in the attempt to make Jim lose his grip.)

**Gilliam:** Please, no need for all the violence, its just a board game.

**Jim:** Monopoly is violence! Gene is just scared cause of what happened last time we played.

**Gene:** (sitting up in bed) Ohhhh that was a fluke and you know it!

**Jim: **Then get your lazy ass up and see if you can get lucky enough to get another fluke.

**Gene:** Fine, gimme a minute. (Gene goes to the bathroom, splashes water onto his face and grabs the rest of the bottle that he was drinking from earlier.)

On the main deck the whole crew of the Outlaw Star (including Gilliam) sat around a table (except Gilliam, who was suspended by a rod, **of course!**) with the game set up. Jim had already explained the rules of the game in detail during the long wait. Everyone sighed with relief when Gene finally stumbled in the room.

**Aisha:** Well its about time already!

**Gene:** Yea yea yea, just gimme the battleship and lets start this.

**Aisha:** The battleship has been claimed for the Ctarl-Ctarls!

**Gene:** What No! I always get the battleship! Switch with me!

**Aisha:** Never, the battleship is mine!

**Jim: **Just take the hat.

**Gene:** No! The hat sucks!

**Melfina:** I have the hat.

**Gene:** And thats why your going to lose!

**Melfina:** Oh

**Gene:** Who has the iron?

**Gilliam:** That would be Gene.

**Gene: **Switch with me Gilliam or else I'll fry your circuits.

**Gilliam:** But Gene, if you were to do that then we would all be stranded out here in deep space.

**Jim: **Gilliam, its probably best if you just switch, he is probably serious.

**Gilliam: **Alright Jim, I will take any piece in exchange.

**Gene:** Yes! Iron trumps the battleship on a one to four spread.

**Aisha:** Humphhh, the battleship is still invincible.

Before the anything else started, Gene got up to grab various types of alcohol to set beside him. His throbbing head could be cured with more booze. The opening rolls were set and Suzuka rolled the only six. She decided to go counter-clockwise. Suzuka-Melfina-Aisha-Jim-Gene-Gilliam. The first go around was uneventful, though Aisha and Jim were on the edge of their seat.

**Aisha:** Bam! First past Go! Give me the money!

**Gene: **Go ahead, its going to be mine in a few minutes.

**Aisha:** Battleship remains invincible!

Jim was the first to get a piece of property, Mediterranean Avenue, the lowest priced piece right past Go. He happily took it and read the details over again.

**Gene:** You would buy that junk.

**Jim:** More peices than you!

**Gene:** Oh yeah? Watch this masterful control of the dice!

Gene rolled and was shocked to land right past Go and onto Mediterranean Ave. Everyone laughed and Gene took a long swig to cover up his suprise.

**Jim:** Two dollars, you got that much still?

**Gene: **Its gonna be a painful game.

The game stuggled onwards with everyone trying very hard to keep from attacking each other. Gene pulled up to the lead in property as he was the first to complete a set, the dark orange pieces in front of Free Parking. He also held two of the railroads, compared to the one that Aisha and Melfina controled. Jim already had both the utilities and perhaps the most money.

**Gene: **Now gimme those houses!

**Jim: **You only have enough money for two.

**Gene: **Then gimme two! (Gene had become progressively drunk, and by now was beginning to slur his speech and make stupid decisions.)

When the dice came back to Aisha, she landed on chance, and upon reading the card, she threw it up in jubilation. Then held the card out for all to see, it read 'Advance to Boardwalk.' Everyone at the table groaned, except Gene who had whisky in his mouth at the time. Aisha already had control the Park Place. She quickly spent nearly all her money to get three houses on each.

**Aisha: **Victory is assured!

**Gene: **No one even were to lands on boardwalks with boats on mono-polly pieces, its stupid, your stupid.

Suzuka had to put an arm up to steady Aisha as the rage came out. The game continued on, Gilliam was the first to go bankrupt on Park Place. Soon after Melfina slowly lost all her money and lost.

**Gene:** Hats dont belongs in card-board cames Melpunia.

Slowly Gene began to decline, he was quickly losing more than he could take in. Suzuka was capitalizing on the opened up board, she managed to get more than half of the Gilliam's and Melfina's now for sale property. But sadly, with almost all her money gone, the dice of fortune landed her on the feared Ctarl-Ctarl stronghold of Boardwalk. Aisha jumped high again in celebration.

**Suzuka:** Impossiable!

**Aisha: **Oh it happened Zu Zu!

Suzuka calmly handed all her money over and the pieces went back for sale in the bank. Then she got up and strode out of the room.

**Suzuka: **(Her last words being) Damn that damn game!

Aisha and Jim were so wrapped up in trying to grab Suzuka's lost peices that when the dice came back to Gene, they saw him passed out on the table.

**Jim: **Wake up Gene! You have to lose!

**Aisha:** You idiot! Get up, you cant go out like this!

They both screamed and shook him but it was of no use. He was out cold, eventually a shook came that was so rough that he felt backwards and onto the floor, still snoring loudly.

**Jim: **Just leave him, his property and money goes back to the bank.

**Aisha: **Now its just a little human boy against the might of a Ctarl-Ctarl Officer!

**Jim:** Not worried really.

**Aisha: **(Rage)

The game raged on between the two for another hour as the board became more and more divided. Everyone else was asleep, (or passed out) as they were both were racked with anxiety as they held their breath on their rolls. Yet for all the stress, neither were willing to call a draw.

**Aisha: **Give up Jim! If you strike me down I will arise more powerful than you can possiably imagine!

**Jim: **Your on the wrong ship to say that, wrong series too in fact.

**Aisha: **Just roll!

And roll Jim did, he rolled into the all terriable, all feared Boardwalk. JIm slammed his head onto the table as Aisha threw wild hands towards the ceiling.

**Aisha: **Total Victory for the Ctarl-Ctarl Empire!

**Jim: **It was just luck, I never lose this game.

**Aisha: **Defeat found a home in you Jimmy JIm JIm.

Aisha marched around the ship, parading and walking everyone up.

**Aisha: **Hail the invincible Ctarl-Ctarl battleship!

The consequences would never be the same for games played on the ship named The Outlaw Star.

The End.


End file.
